Sometimes in life there comes a time when you have to look at yourself and say, "Hey! What's up? How's it going?". Yeah, these times do not come too often, whenever they do, it's best not to ignore them, they can be the make or break decisions of your life, or rather your life itself. In my case, this revelation was brought upon me by a few very very special people in my life. They made me look at myself and actually say out loud, "Hey! what the hell! what have I done to myself? What's happening to me? Was I always like this?".
This made me think real hard..I thought about a lot of things, things the way they were before, and the way they are now. I was not myself. These days can include the whole of the first semester in College. I know it for sure. When I told my friends back home what I did, or rather when I told my dad what all I did in the space of a few months, he was shocked. He told me he did not believe that I was capable of doing anything of this kind, he was rightly ashamed of me. I let down every principle my family had grounded into me.
I had transformed into a this big huge green monster, this vile creature unworthy of anybody's love or respect. I became what I always thought I should never be. I cannot in anyway justify anything I did. When I actually looked at myself I could not recognize myself. It felt like I was staring at a stranger. An unknown stranger.
I want to change. I am really thankful to all the people for making me look at myself and say, "Hey!". It really helped. Everyone makes mistakes. My mum always said, " Making a mistake, learn from it, and be sure never to repeat it." I am past the making a mistake stage. I am hoping to learn from all the mistakes, all of them I had made last semester, every single one of them. Every mistake has something to teach you, and you can learn a lot from every single small tiny winy mistake you made. After some time I want to be able to look at myself straight, and say,"Hey! I know you......you are me!"
P.S.-This is a really serious blog and I'll be back with some 'bakchodi' as soon as it's humanly possible! :)
2 comments:
Yaar, though i don't kno what event(s)lead to this post, i can say this for sure,.
it takes an effort to also accept a mistake... you are a step closer to achieving that change that you want,
best wishes to get whatever you wish
Hey,
Chill ra, whatever happened happened. ok? We all love you for what you are...and from now on we'll love you even more, because you accepted what you did , and that itself is a big step towards change. We'll always be there for you, through thick and thin. Luv ya as always. :) No worries! looking forward to seeing you in May.
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