Birthday, Dogs and Michael Crichton

Time passed, slowly like a snake slithering lazily through the desert sand.....
Well, dude that's my lame attempt at poetry. There's only one way to describe it, it sucks you douchebag! Poetry is one thing I have never actually been able to get hold of. Ok, not the one thing, but many things like mooting! Yeah yeah I haven't been able to write as well, I really have no clue why.

There have been so many attempts to wcome up with something spectacularly funny, when I actually get down to writing, I am blank! So, what has happened to my life in the last few months. Well, for starters I turned 19. Nothing special, it was the same as turning 17, or 16 or 5. Yeah, I went home this time, not that anyone cares!

Oh yeah, it's Diwali today, "HAPPY DIWALI!". All hail Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth.

Ok, this is a real question which has been floating in my over sized under stocked head for sometime. Why do people like animals? Why say people there was time in my life when I used to say, my dog was my best friend. I have a friend who's obsessed with dogs, dogs of every kind, including the street mongrels.

People say a dog's a man's best friend. Dogs have always had a place in the literature (haven't you heard of Clifford, the big red dog?), language( What's up dawg?), music (Who Let The Dogs Out?), cartoons(Snoopy, Pluto, Goofy). I have found from my extensive research(Googling) that dogs are indeed the most respected of our animal friends.

Dogs also lend appeal to many celebs(read Paris Hilton). Brett Lee went to name his Grey Hound, well, um 'Brett Lee'. "Well, Mr. Lee", quizzed a curious journalist, "why Brett Lee". Mr.Lee says, "He's fast". Don't read too much into that. Well, it'll be heavenly to see Tom Cruise walking his big dog, or Adam Sandler with his bull dog. I think the most publisized, and most hyped dog is ofcourse, Ms. Hilton's disgusting chihuahua (bleh!). Nowadays Rihanna, Hillary Duff, and yeah, Nicole Richie all sport their pocket sized dogs!

Indian celebs are not too far behind. Our own 'cricchick' Mandira(who can serioulsy give a competition to dogs in the looks depaertment), has the most gorgeous K9s in this planet! John Abraham, the PETA supporter aka hot hunk loves his dogs! No wonder they say, India is everywhere these days!

Yeah, the common man loves his dogs. though not everyone can have the perfect PEDIGREE dog, people do spend crazy money on their dogs! We have exclusive dog trainers, dog beauty parlours. lol. Well, yeah we have 'items' who love their dogs more than they love their children :)

We have heard of cases in India where peopl have adopted monkeys, donkeys, dogs, and yes, TREES! Now, I can safely assume that, what Micheal Crichton, wrote in his book, "NEXT", has been possible in India from time immemorial.Well, as they say, anything's possible here!

So long, Suckers!

'Apparently'

'Apparently, G told me we are good friends'

'Apparently we are going out to the movies today'

'Apparently, my name is Sneha'

'Apparently, birds fly in the sky'

Ok. I made up the last one. The other three are real sentences spoken by a lot of my peers, who for reasons beyond my comprehension, use it wherever they can. It's became like a fashion statement, the word has grown in equivalence to, let's say, a Gucci bag or a Prada skirt. Also just like how we have fake Prada and fake Gucci, we also have the rampant misusage of the poor word. So, in colleges like mine you have people saying stuff like, 'Apparently, P told me that Z and F are going out!'

Dude, watch it! Ouch, what language. You don't use apparently, when you yourself has spoken the words.

The 'apparently' disease is common among the Professors as well. We have the 'jolly guy', who uses the word like its his second name.

"Apparently, I have not read the following case in Constituitonal Law "

Again, dude you apparently do not know the correct use of the word in question.

So, yeah this sometimes leads to funny results,
like,
'Apparently S told me there's no class today'

'Apparently, I am going to the doctor'

This habbit irritates me. i have scarred my vocal chords, by the sheer nunber of times I had to yell at people, and reason with them, and yeah, also try and explain to them. Oh no, it's still the same,'Apparently, I cried in my sleep last night'

Maybe not everyone can afford to buy Gucci bags, and Prada skirts, but I am sure they can try to learn the propoer positioning, of words in sentences!

Apparent, ain't it?

'Apparently'

Contracts??? I have my doubts!

Today in class, people were throwing pieces of chalk at eachother, for those who know my class, you may think, whats the big deal? our class is obsessed with chalks!

Botox- you people should stop playing with chalks!

(As usual, her appeal falls on deaf ears!)

Botox-Ok, now people gimme your balls!

(Ahem! May I have the Committee for child/student/word/ abuse please?)

Snigger Snigger...

"Less is more"

All the citizens of the Gen Y, haven't you noticed something? Something like a fact that has been staring right at you, for a long time now? The mere fact that we happen to live our lives a world of "less is more", disturbing ain't it?

Let's take an example, say a group of uber cool people go to a place like McDonalds, ad order some food, say three McChicken combos, now they expect their order to be delivered to them within 5 minutes. Even if, the poor guy takes a minute more, he starts hearing stuff like, "What the F*** ya, b***** place, so freaking slow!". Yes, the concept of fast food has totally caught on India. Now again, less is more ain't it?

TIme is wasted, save time. Space is being wasted , save space. The most important of it all, save money. These days, it is true save twenty four hours in a day do not seem sufficient, for a person. People want 'crash courses', delivery within 30 minutes ( lol, i meant pizza delivery), faster transport, and yeah, thinner models.

I know, thinner models. Lesser fabric in their clothes, talk about wastage of cotton. Go to a shop like, well take any shop, pick up a shirt, or a top rather, it will look like they used less than a cubic metre of cloth and when you look at the price, hmmm, i am sure you get the gist! WEll if you happen to be an oversized person like me, you are definetly a threat to mother Earth! (OOOO....that's a nice incentive to start working out! Ooooo reduce, or else you will solely be responsible for the apocalypse!)

We love princess Z...people sorry forthe little commercial break, it was a random friend messing around with my post! Furthur queries on this will not be entertained, nor will further attempts at sabotaging my POSTS!

That brings me to the next logical question, all this saving for whom? The earth is getting polluted anyway, who cares? I mean, ironically arent we wasting time by thinking about all this? It does seem pretty odd these days, that people always seem to be in a hurry, work, movie, presentation, college, and whatever.So in times like these it's pretty obvious that people will give more value to "less is more".

That gets me thinking, why can't it apply to grades and GPAs. Keep thinking! :D

Sex or Gender?

This is one of the biggest questions that have always troubled my tiny cranium. Yeah, as I may put it, is it sex or gender? Why is it in all forms we have to fill up a column titled ‘sex’? Why not gender? Why are little kids taught their gender is male or female and not sex? Why? Why? Why?

Is it because at the mention of the word sex, people’s minds usually conjure up the verb form of the word and not the noun? It’s been a puzzle to me ever since I found out that both gender and sex actually do mean the same. I remember, me all of eight years after reading my birth certificate, calmly walk to my dad and said, “Nana what does sex mean?” Well my old man, being the dad he always is simply, looked at me and said,” It means that you have to write if you are a girl or boy?” Now, that was quite enough for my eight year old brain.

Time passes along, and I reach age 10. I was in the company of a then 12 year old guy (whose name has been hidden for obvious reasons, let’s call him S). We were both looking at a college application his elder brother was supposed to be filling. S’s eyes immediately fall on the word, well you know, SEX. And all that comes out of that mouth is ‘ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo’. I was puzzled, and I stared and stared at him. I went back home. I was restless, until dad finally asked me what was itching me. I told him, what took place. He doubled up with laughter, and said I’ll learn about it in school. I was not satisfied, I confronted S. I demanded an explanation.

Now, S’s blatant truth totally shattered my, I was born ‘cause of the stork’ theory. It shook my little head, and made me question my own existence. At first I refused to believe him, than I asked him, If his mum and dad ‘did it’ too?
As you can imagine, my little head, had horrible visions of Ben and Jerry ‘doing it’. It shook my core, I could not summon up the courage to ask dad, and to confront him. As I grew older, I was subjected to much more usage of the verb form of the work in question.

That also brings me onto one other topic, why do we have to mention our ‘sex’ or ‘gender’? Like anyone cares, anyway I was thinking that all those applications must change that column to ‘orientation’, so then we will not have Naz Foundation, coming up with another of the PILs, to say that applications are violative of article 14 of the Constitution. So yeah, now India officially recognizes 6 genders, or may I say, sexes, Male, Female, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transsexuals. Instead of two columns we shall now have six columns on any applications.

In the past people used to be scared of their offsprings running away, with their opposite sex, now even a two boys, seen together can land them in huge trouble! I still get troubled reactions from little cousins, when I use the word ‘sex’. They look at me like I have committed a sin, and I need to be purged in holy water. While these I must say, are the very kids who watch, Johny Bravo in Hindi, and guess what? No sniggers when, Johny says,’Hey sexy’. When I say it, it’s all;’Akka said the S word’.

In a country life ours where three to four of our kids are the average in every house, I don’t get how people often consider sex as taboo. We have mythical lore which talks of Pandava having 100 sons, and people giving birth due to the fruit of life. How do they think kids happen? Do they seriously believe that kids are dropped from heavens? I have thought about it, every single day since I found out what the verb form signifies. Is’nt our land considered to be the land of the ‘Kama Sutra’?
Let’s just hope that there will come a day, when children all over India will say, my sex is male or female or whatever else.


[This post was not intended to hurt the feelings of any LGBT person, If it does so, my sincere apologies. ]

Muksastaa..........

SNC-Sir, what is the scope of the word 'thing' in section blah blah blah?

Muksa- It can include anything, pen, pencil ,anything, Taj Mahal...

Life...................(Article 21 of the Indian Constitution, Keshavananda Bharti v State of Kerala)

It's been a while since I've written a post. It's for a combination of factors really. For a few inexcusable reasons, I could not bring myself to write. Well, anyway I'll try to put all that behind me as soon as possible. No more posts lamenting on the many turns and twists my life has taken. What 'life'? I am only 18, and I am just a year old in college! There's plenty of time left to feel sorry for myself in life. According to a WHO report(for all the losers who do not know what's WHO it's ,World Health Organization, a part of the United Nations.Still no clue? Google it!)the average life span of an Indian female is 63 years. So yeah, I still have plenty of time to think.

As you can see, I have begun giving authorities, to whatever information I quote. Well, call this the law school effect. After doing making countless memos, well not countless, it's 6 actually, the habit has seeped into this tiny brain of mine! Yeah, it's funny but I have been in Law school for a little more than a year.

My life has changed drastically since I moved into room no.207, NGH of NLU. I decided to document as many as I can. Here's to change!

1. The most important, eating bland food, rock hard idlis, searching for good south Indian food. Finally settling for whatever you get.

2. Why waste money on movie tickets when you have a perfectly functioning laptop? and a LAN connection?

3. Washing clothes, back home all I had to do was, well drop the dirty clothes in to the laundry box. Well, here I finally learnt how to use the machine! :)

4. Ironing my own clothes, it took me sometime to get a hang of this one! Thanks to a lot of help from the Bushy haired girl, I managed it!

5. Cleaning my room! The one hate the most, ugh! the dust, the clutter, especially thanks to my 'shopoholic' nature, I generally end up finding, things I don't even remember buying, then I go around asking who they belong to! Most of the time I am reminded of the time I bought that particular bauble, thinking I absolutely cannot survive without it!

6. Loud music, emanating from any room on the floor.

7. Filling the cooler, what a pain!

8. My usual hangout coffee shop, Barista, has been replaced by Coffee Day!

9. Instead of Little Italy, I go to King's Pavillion for Pasta.

10. Deli 9's chocolate pastries have given way to 15 A.D.

11. Shopper's Stop, Lifestyle, City Center Mall, Central have heralded the arrival of "National Handloom", "Reliance Mart" and "Ansal Plaza".

12. The new McDonald's made me feel as happy as a new mum!

13. Masala filled Hyderabadi Dum Biryani, is replaced by the Jodhpuri version, of green colored Andhra Chicken Pulav, deceptively termed "Hyderabadi Biryani".

14. The best takeaway joints are Kashmiri Spicy, Shaheen and Chics and Kabs. All adorning the roadside!

15. The worst of all, getting used to travelling in bone cracking autos and not my Zen or Santro! :)

16. Street shopping in Charminar, Badi Chowdi, and General Bazar is replaced by Nai Sarak.

17. I am still getting used to teh fact that, the only fort in the place I live in is Mehrangarh, and not Golkonda.

The rajasthani twang, the hot sun, the bright colors, will still need some getting used to, but what is life without change? Isn't life about enjoying every moment you can? After all going by the who statistics I just have 45 years to live. That dosen't seem too long now, does it?

As my mum always said, Life's too short to hold grudges! :)

Adios!

Sastas in the rain.........

First of all, I'd like to congratulate myself on reaching my 100th blog. I look forward to writing more crap, and finding people who read it. :)

Here's a few conversations I heard in our University.

A few girls in an auto-Bye! Bye!
666-Take care, Garnier.

Interesting.....

In the gym, when its raining people were singing,

People-Aaegaa Aaegaa aanewala, aaegaaa........
Chucky-Bhooth aaegaa!

*Ahem*

In the same gym,

Random-Let's play anthakshari!
Random no.2-Let's play Rapid fire!
Random no.3-Let's play Rapid fire. What is rapid fire????
Me(sitting outside)-

So continue my days..in this 'randomness'!

Sasthaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

This post is dedicated to the creators of LTTE. The 'genius creators of the intellectually stimulating' blog have also inspired me to write this 'stimulating' post. I hit upon this idea when I was sitting next to yellow, in a rather dull history class.

The following post contains certain very classified and valuable information. It's an insiders view of the proceedings of Room 11 of a certain 'Halls of Learning'.

Early in an OB class,
Sunshine walks in with two of his rays,
(OB shoots an icy look)
SS-Sorry mam, first time
OB-This is my first class

*Wah! Wah! Wah! Wah!*

During a heated debate on offences,
MS-The driver of a car which breaks down and causes a road block is guilty of causing public nuisance.
Curly haired girl- The driver is not guilty cuz, he has no mens rea. The car is guilty, because it broke down....

*applause* *applause*

Walking down from a drab history class,
Curly haired girl, in the tone of somebody who's found out that they won a lottery-
Mithakshara and Dayabhaga are not Hindu schools of law! They are Nibandhas! Ha! Ha!

Talk about students being stressed in Law Schools.

While talking about offence,
MS-........................said Justice Edward Coke, the founder of Coca Cola,........
Bushy haired girl-Really?
MS-No. It was just a joke.

*ROTFL*

During a five minute I walked into class.
N, said the following, pointing to Guy S and Slash, who were sleeping with their heads down on the their table.
"Two people sleeping together"

*hmmmmmm*

Marketing was walking into class, and people were stumbling back into their seats,
Curly haired girl-Get a Life!
Bushy haired girl-Get a wife!

*India said gay ho! dinnit?*

LC(girl)-Three Mukherjees are coming! I might get lucky!
(One of them is a girl!)

*All hail 377*