Dunno what to call it.

"India is a puzzle.", said the grey eyed Professor Smith, as he quietly sipped the glass of scotch my grandad poured out for him. His face had the look of someone who had not only visited India, but also bothered to get away from the 5 Star Hotels and explore the 'real' India. "It makes you love it, but at the same time, you realise  it's not perfect." That day sitting in the living room of my house in DD colony, Hyderabad I realised how true he was.And how privileged I am.

The very next day, when I went to my usual teatime hang out spot outside the CAT with Edward, Anwar bhai, the magnanimous Naan wallah observed,"Indian mein na kuch bhi ho saktha hain, humari Dubai mein bahut strict hain loga". He claims to be a descendant of the Nizam. As he says to everyone who bothers to listen, his mother was the last Nizams concubine and he was born in Dubai. Yes readers, you might be all fascinated, but you roam around Charminar, you will find at least 10 more men like Anwar bhai. True Story.

My country scares me. It makes me think. I feel disgusted, at the same time I feel proud of being an Indian. The diversity is gut wrenching. Just the sight of a little boy begging near a big mall tell you a story. I have tasted champagne a bottle of which costs anywhere from 3000 rupees to well, I even saw a 90000 rupees worth champagne. There are millions of people who do not make that much money in a year in this country. 

Human Rights activists have maids to clean their house, and cooks to cook their food. 

The diversity is not limited to the economy. People in the North would not know what's  an Appam. I din't know what Bhujia was till I came to Jodhpur. I don't get what people mean when they say "I want to see real India.". Dude, you have landed in India, and so you are in real India, as opposed to a 'fake' India. DLF Promenade in Delhi is as much a part of India, as Lepakshi is. People still think India is full of snake charmers and old men with big black moustaches!Golly!

Yes, as I told my Lebanese neighbor in  the bus journey to Jodhpur, we speak Hindi not India. He wanted to know what water is called in 'Indian'. Whether it's in the bylanes of Charminar or in the Second Class compartment in the Rajdhani Express, Indians are Indians. We care. One day during my internship I was sick, and the next day I went back to have chai in Anwar Bhai's shop he gave me free 'Paya', and not chai. I can never forget the Assamese family who totally helped me stay calm in the much delayed train to Delhi. I was even offered a house to stay the night in. Yep, all cause my Gran got all senti and asked that lady to 'keep an

eye' on yours truly who was travelling alone in a train for the first time. Well, if the decree passed by Ammamma stays it could well have been my last train journey alone!

As we have all read in second grade there is unity in diversity in India. If some work does not get done over the table, whether we are from Banjara Hills or Siatafalmandi, we all look 'under the table'. Fat uncles (whether rich or poor, south Indian or North Indian) all over the country gyrated to the beats of Sheela and Munni and oh yeah, Justin Bieber on the New years night! And when New Year dawns we call our friendly neighborhood Astrologer, or go to the nearby Baba or attend the midnight mass or go to the mosque, Gurudwara, temple, etc.

Try as much as you can, you NRIs, you can never run away from your heritage. Nope not the fake accent, nor the fake Gucci sunglasses, or the cheap Christian Louboutins and not even the "Oh my God! my baby will not survive in India" can make you look non-Indian. No amount of hand sanitizer will rub away the Indian-ness, that is inherently there in you. You will still have to fight the urge not to litter and not to employ household help. Gotcha! 

We have all types here, the watchers, the hopers, the 'live'-ers and the prayers. Each group with it's own attitude and own beliefs. The guitar players and the Sitar players, the rappers and the classical singers, the pickle lickers and the Pizza eaters, the cheap roadside romeos and the hot suave college guys, the mountain climbers and the beach goers. 

I differ from what I said at the beginning of the post, My country does not scare me, it amazes and sometime amuses me!

P.S.- Another post which is a result of this never ending writer's block!