One moment. That one moment.

As I write those post I am sitting in a rickety old bus going from Ajmer to Jaipur. My friend is sleeping next to me and I see the desert vegetation outside the window. It's like the world is calling me. I want to go and explore, poke and prod to see what all the world has to offer. I have this innate need or maybe it's a want but I want to travel. I suddenly realised that thanks to my crazy family I have travelled quite a bit. I want to go to new places and learn new things and try out new food. Whether it was looking out for Portuguese food in Diu or relishing Israeli Fatut in Pushkar I realised these things make me feel at home. I felt like I can forget all my problems and just let go. Give my brain that little break which it needs.

I know company matters a lot and in both my trips I had amazing friends who made all that worthwhile. Though at some point in my life I do want to travel alone.

But there comes a moment in Every holiday, every trip, which makes the whole trip worthwhile. It does not matter how many buses you were in or how much money you spent or how much dung you stepped on. That one moment is the one that makes you forget everything and just exist, and just lose yourself. That's the moment that makes the whole trip. In Diu I found peace while floating lying down on my back on the sea water and Pushkar I lost myself looking at the Ajmer skyline from a random spot in the night from the ajmer Pushkar hilly road! Full points to Vered for that Scooty ride suggestion.

I say travel when you can, not all of us are like my grandad who at the age of 75 still takes off with his friends. Geetay is still sleeping and the old bus stopped for breakfast. As if in line with my thoughts my phone starts playing the classic'I want to break free'. I don't know what Jaipur holds for me.

But right now, at this very moment, I feel free.

SDL Party!

Parties are an integral part of law school life, as much as moots or internships or even attendance problems. When it comes to our law school, most of our crazy drunk parties happen in this little highway side dhaba just walking distance away from the campus called Sweet Dream Land, fondly referred to as SDL.

Parties are a way to let out steam and believe me, us law students, always have a lot of steam to let out. People throw parties for every possible reason from birthdays to jobs to 'oh we have nothing better to do'. Now's the time to also say there's a Party Soc in our college and they specialize in throwing SDL parties. Keep up the good work guys!

These parties bring out different sides of people. You go, get drunk, and spill out your inner most secrets to other random drunk people who may or may not remember the same the next morning. You go and dance like there's no tomorrow to songs that you sometimes wish you don't even know. There is always a 90% chance that you made a fool out of yourself at a party but there is also a higher chance that you won't remember it or no one else also does.

A few hours into the party we always get to see drunk manifestations of people, drunk crying, drunk dancing, drunk talk. People will puke and people will pass out and that's usually when the hosts realise it's time to go back. Getting people to leave, well, that's another story. That's why the short distance between college and SDL is very important. I don't claim to have been completely sane on all of my walks back to college but I can claim to have oodles of fun in every party I went to in that dhaba. Yes, I am going to miss this. Maybe I should throw one just cause I am going to miss partying.

Oh my smartphone, will you marry me?

Are phones becoming smarter or are people becoming dumber? Well, it certainly seems so. Smartphone reliance has been turning us into pseudo robots and in a few more years it might just turn us into real fleshy robots.

As an owner of one I must say that I am completely relying on my phone for everything. I only realised how much I need my phone when my phone was stolen in December. Really. Those two weeks were among the worst in my life.

I used to wake up in the mornings and did not know what to do with my time. There were times when I used to stare blankly into space. I did not have my 8 mega pixel camera to click pictures of anything from the rocking chair in my house to a bottle of coke in a restaurant. It felt like a pain to open my laptop to check my mails or use gtalk. My friends told me I was hallucinating and was displaying withdrawal symptoms. I think I was well on my way into depression.

Then ofcourse a little after Christmas a brand new phone entered my life. It wasnt really love at first sight because I was still missing my old phone but after a week I realised I am glued to this new phone as well. So much so that Ammamma had to give me phone timeouts.

So after the cold Delhi internship and the dull college fornight our little to Diu happenned. I should have seen the signs, the omens, but no my stupid thick head dint let me.

Diu was fun. Diu was awesome.Diu also killed my phone. I slipped and fell into a little water on the beach and water went in and my phone got fried. As a result I had to spend a week without a phone. After the money spending and the minor anxiety attack that followed and the earfuls I got from my loving friends and family, I realised something. I realised that I am in love with my smartphone.

I mean why not? It wakes me up every morning, it reminds me of things I have to do everyday,  I can post pictures, download music, research on projects, talk to friend, oh oh and it has WhatsApp! ! I cant live without it. I can even have an intelligent conversation with my phone. I panic if I dont see my phone for more than a few minutes. Omg! I think I am addicted. Or maybe this is love.

So heres what it is,

Dear phone,
I have loved you like no one else, I want you to be a part of me, so phone, will you marry me?.

This post is dedicated to the one we call "phonewhore". Happy Birthday man!

What goes does truly come around!

They say what goes around comes around. I dont really know who 'they' are but I must say that I agree whole heartedly with them. When something bad happens to you dont kill yourself over it, the same way dont get too complecent when everything seems to be going just right for you. Its at times when you think everythings going great that this thing called life has a habit of bringing you down to right where you belong.

I am almost reaching the end of my time in law school and I must say I think I have seen it all. One thing I have learnt is that when you give advice to someone ask yourself a thousand times if you'd follow that same advice if given to you. As I said before what goes around does come around. Oh and another lesson that I learnt the hard way ,dont judge 'cause who knows given that times the great equilizer you just might find yourself in that same exact situation, maybe a few days, a few weeks, or even a few months later.

I know I haven't blogged as often as I would have liked to, but I promise I will write more often. Life lessons learnt coupled with lots of funny incidents in the last few months will make for some interesting posts soon. Also for this post I'd like to thank a really close friend of mine, you know who you are and thanks for everything.  Yes, you and your advice inspired me to write this.

Soo cya folks! And soon.

Hyderabad not = only Banjara Hills!

The other day I was talking to another friend of mine, Vinaya, who is also currently exiled in a Law School and we both noticed a very disturbing trend. If you meet a person who's not from Hyderabad but has a relative/friend/friend's friend/someone who they know exists, who happens to live in Hyderabad, and casually ask them, "So where does your friend live?", the answer more often than not is, Banjara Hills.

Yes, agreed Banjara Hills is Hyderabad's most happening place. Agreed, the place does have some really cool places to hang-out, but that's really not the only place that is hangout worthy!

The Hyderabad I remember growing up in was so different and had so many other things to offer, this despite the fact that I was living pretty close to Banjara Hills. You could go to Anand or Skyline to watch an English Movie. You could go to Ohris, Himayat Nagar for great food and ice cream. Gone are the days when long drives meant going to Tank Bund and Necklace Road, and people used to go to Lumbini Park and Indira Park for morning walks and not KBR Park.

For most people Hyderabad is restricted to Banjara Hills and Jubilee Hills and the like. The City really has a lot to offer for someone with a car and a lot of time and a little enthusiasm. Growing up, there were times when we used to go to Banjara Hills, but we used to go to a lot of other places also. The best Chinese food in the city was in Nanking, yes, the one in Secunderabad and not Mainland China. Shopper's Stop and Lifestyle were the only malls and nope they were not in Banjara Hills.

It was suddenly after the IT boom in the early 2000s, the center of the city started to shift towards Banjara Hills. Most yuppies who came into Hyderabad settled in that place and places nearby owing to their proximity to the IT Parks. And as they say, the rest just built up on that.

Banjara Hills is a really nice place to live in, but what we, people from other parts of Hyderabad would like to say is, HYDERABAD is not BANJARA HILLS!

Bye Bye Binga.

 Yesterday Brett Lee  announced that he's retiring from International cricket, for good. I was in class tweeting on my phone when I saw his tweet. For a second, I could not believe it, a part of me did not want to believe it.The idea that he will not be running in to bowl at 150 kmph seemed depressing.

This man, this brilliant bowler, a fashion designer, this musician, this Australian with stunning looks and an amazing personality has been my favorite cricketer since I was nine. When I saw his first ball in that Boxing Day test match I had, like millions of other young girls out there, to just give my heart away. I fell in love. Love with the bowler, the smile, the man and everything there is about him.

My crazy parents, who were with me in whatever I decided to do in my life, were completely on board with this Brett Lee madness also. My dad used to stay awake till odd hours of the morning watching random Test matches of Australia just so he could wake me up when Brett Lee came on to bowl. Whenever Australia had an ODI at whatever odd hours of the day I used to watch those ten overs in which he used to bowl. I ll never forget the number of tests I studied for, projects I wrote, notes I completed sitting in front of the TV, watching these random matches. His pumping fist celebration was something that I'll never forget.

I remember the agony I went through when the Australian Team came to India for a 4 test series in India in 2005, I think (the one in which Michael Clarke made his debut) when he was made to sit on the bench for all the four matches. Apoorva, my fellow Lee fan, and Pallavi, who completed the Cricket Crazy Girl trio in school, used to contemplate before every match about Lee's inclusion (or the lack of it) in the team. I miss those times, when we used to sit on the Volleyball field steps after playing after school hours and yap about Cricket.

His fitness was a source of constant entertainment to my parents, friends, and a constant worry on my mind. The pain I used to feel when he got hurt with all those knee, and ankle injuries is laughable now, but back then, it was very serious, atleast for me. My mother renamed Butter Chicken in our household "Brett Lee Chicken" after I proudly announced that he loved Butter Chicken. That song with Asha Bhonsle made laugh for ages! I was lucky enough to have met the man twice. Yes, if you hope hard enough, dreams do come true.

I think the greatest moment in my life was when I found out that he is a musician too. When he sang "When you say nothing at all" (which at that time was my favorite song) in the Simi Garewal show, and said it was his favorite song, I could have literally DIED! The Allan Border Medal after his brilliant comeback performance in the 2005 Ashes which Australia lost and the VB Series in Australia (where was given Player of the tournament) was just one of the many feathers in his cap. No one will forget that Binga was the last man standing as Australia lost the famous Edgbaston Test in 2005 by just two runs, and even more unforgettable is the Lee-Flintoff handshake. 

There are a lot of things to learn from Binga. First and foremost NEVER EVER GIVE UP. Like he said, and like what I firmly believe, for every low there is always a high, if not more. He is absolutely right! His life being the prime example. Everytime the selectors did not select him, he only came back stronger. These holiday I volunteered for a few days in the Hyderabad edition of Mewsic, the NGO he started, and it was a good experience. Spreading joy through music, not a novel concept, but a fun one never the less. 

The man is an inspiration. He taught me many things in life. I used to laugh at my mother when she used to say ,"Cricket is not the same without Imran Khan" but now I know, "Cricket will never be the same without Binga running into bowl at 150 kmph".

(All those Cricket pundits out there if any date or fact given in this post is wrong please let me know as this was written purely from my heart, and the events are as I remember them)

Brave

All princess need not have that flowing straight hair or the graceful walk or the Charming prince and Disney has showed us precisely that in its latest animated movie, Brave. 

Growing up, there was never a Disney princess I wanted to be like. Disney simply did not care to make a Princess with Wild unruly hair, a huge appetite and an innate stubbornness to do things her way, maybe Ariel was a bit like that, but Merida anyway is an antithesis of most princesses. Today while watching the movie I wished I was 10 years younger, but anyway at last I found my favorite Disney princess. As they say, it's better late than never.

Which other princess would ask a wish to 'change her mother', and ends up changing her mother into a bear, for all those who know me, it's something they all know I am very capable of doing. That is another very important aspect of the movie, it's not everyday that you get an animated movie that explores a mother daughter bond like this one does. 

The humour in the movie will well spaced and very nicely inserted. The Scottish Kilt joke is given a new 'look' in this latest Pixar flick. 

Unlike all the other Disney movies, there is no stalemate prince charming in this one. So much so that the Princess vies with the other suitors for her own hand, yes, she is just as wild an unruly as her curly red locks! The music and the accent in the movie were very original, refreshing and pleasant. A must watch if you like animated movies.

 I take Merida's words very seriously,

"If you had the chance to change your fate, would you?"

Maybe a good thing before I head off to Jodhpur to begin my final year of college!

D.E.L.H.I

I vaguely remember the first time I ever set foot in Delhi. We were on our way to Nainital and had to take a car from Delhi to Nainital. It was mid-June, and from the minute I set foot in Delhi, I hated it. It has rained the previous night and it was humid and sticky. The journey from the Airport to the Bank of India Guest House in Karol Bagh was, well, hot and sweaty. I swore I'd never come back to this place, and I remember my Old man just laughed.

Many years later, well not that many also (exaggeration is a writer's prerogative), I found myself back in Delhi. And again. And again. And another time.

Delhi to me is an enigma, the place is brilliant. The people, well, I am not a big Fan, really. I like the metro makes my life easier. Well only yesterday we crossed two states to go visit Bharatendu and experience "Zindagi ki Maze". Yes, by Metro only.

It is as called by many people the food lover's paradise. There is all kinds of food here, maybe that's what happens when many different people from many different countries come and settle in one place. I have been lucky enough to have eaten most of the delicacies Delhi has to offer, whether its Paranthewali Galli, or Big Chill or Nizams or the Myriad number of places that there are.

One thing I have noticed is Delhi people love dressing up, going out and EATING! True that. Dressing up on Saturdays to go to a Mall seems to be the 'in-thing' here. Well, that's another thing I've done this time scouted almost all the Malls that there are in Delhi/Gurgaon. I have also seen the stereotypical Punjabi Aunty, who is actually pretty sweet.

I think Delhi is beginning to grow on me now, the metro rides, the old book shopping in Daryaganj, the absolutely FANTASTIC winters, and the amount of Culture and INDIA HABITAT CENTER will surely overshadow my bad experiences here, and also the HOT summers. I will cherish forever the times I spent here with my friends, and I guess one day I ll eventually not mind living here, and maybe fall in love with this place.

Incomplete

Something's missing
I can sense it everyday,
in every passing minute
and in every painful second.

The feeling erupts
like a wave of nausea
like yellow bile
from the insides of my being

I try to ignore it
I want to move on
and leave it all behind
in the past where it belongs

Sometimes I wonder
through vacant nights
and sunny mornings,
If I move on,am I leaving
a part of me behind?

To Be or Not to Be : The Problem of Making a Choice

Sometimes in our world we face what I'd like to call a problem of making a  choice. Maybe life has always been throwing stuff at us, and till a certain point we are able to choose what we want, but that does not always happen. When we can't choose what we want that's when we know that we are in an abyss as deep as the Mariana Trench. Yep, we find ourselves staring at the seabed, just confused. And everything around us seems to be working just fine, and people around us seem to be managing their lives just fine.

We have always been choosing, from the time we were babies. What food to like, what dress to wear, what people to hang out with, what movies to watch and what books to read. As we grow older, the choices get harder, and with each choice we make we have the ability to influence not only us, but also others around us. It's not always choosing between a good thing and a bad thing, its about deciding what we want and why we want what we want.
As they say, life is a bitch, often we want things that we know are bad for us, but then again, as I just said earlier, life is a bitch. It's like every choice we ever made helped in making us who we are today, right now, at this very moment. Easiest choices are those that generally hardly have any impact on our personality, but I think it's the harder ones that contribute to making us who we are.

Bad choices. All of us have made some at some point or the other. But it's the good choices that we made that we ought to be proud of. Imagine if Sachin chose to become a Doctor, or JK Rowling decided not to write and look for a stereotype job. As we grow older the choices we need to make become more and more complex. As I said in my earlier post, growing up comes with added responsibilities.

The choices we make have to made keeping in mind not only us, but also the ones we love. Our choices may sometimes hurt the ones we love the most, but that does not mean that the choice we made becomes a bad choice.I guess sometimes in life, we have to do, what we think is the best for us. There is a whole wide world around us, it's upto us to choose if we want to go out there and make something of ourselves.

So if you make a choice today, think it through before you actually make it. You should not regret the choice you make today, when you are 80, with 9 teeth and a bald head. Why am I being all philosophical? Well I am 21, and I am almost in my final year of Law School. The choices that I will be making in the next 6 months will probably have the power to shape the next 40 years of my life. Am I scared? yes, I am petrified, but then again there is also that feeling of intense excitement which makes my back tingle, my heart skip a beat and makes me say, Life, BRING IT ON!

I promise I ll be more regular in updating my blog! Cya next time people. If this sounded like some psycho-babble nonsense, I promise my next post is going to be a funny one. :-)

Waking Up

What is the best feeling in the world? I think it is knowing that you are completely free, free from doubts, free to do anything you like, free from telling you what to do, and most of all, being independent. Everything we do from the time we are very little prepares us for that one final moment when we spread our wings and take off. We all are like little Birds, just waiting for that one day to take off and see the view from top.I guess the world does look more beautiful when you look at it with being accountable to no one.

Ok.Scratch that. My head was still waking up when I wrote that melancholy crap. This semester is definitely different from most of the other semesters. I think it's more fulfilling. I have been able to do a lot more than I have been doing in the last 7 semesters. Maybe that's what they meant by 'Do what you love and love what you do.' Boredom is something I haven't been felt in a while, neither am I feeling tired, would I want to live my life like this? I actually would not mind.

My love for books throughout my life has just prepared me for this I guess. I am not sure there are a lot of people who's hearts would bleed when they read a badly written book. Mine does. Books are a medium of spreading joy, just as much music is. They helped a little girl spend all the 'extra' enthusiasm she had wrapped up inside her. I want all little girls across the world to feel what I grew up feeling. Yeah yeah, I know, this is the Digital Age, and all that jazz but then again, isn't it better to read a real book than stare at a laptop or even a kindle? I like the sweet smell of new books just much I like the smell of old Red Wine.

You can call me old fashioned but as a very good friend of mine said, 'A piano is not old fashioned, it's classic.', even though he said it in the context of Classical music, I think it applies here as well. Talking about music, I have finally learnt how to play something on my guitar, yes, the same one that I got as a birthday present. Now it's about time to introduce to you Aphune Kezo (a.k.a Appy), she is a friend, and brilliant singer and most of all my awesome guitar teacher, and singing buddy. More on that in another post. Right now it's time to run to class, Ciao.

So we're Grown ups now, is it?

When I woke up on the first day of this year, the one thought that ran through my mind, was WHERE'S THE MAID? THE APARTMENT IS IN SHAMBLES! It's funny how quickly time seems to pass, isn't it? Just a few years ago, my biggest worry in life was, well I don't know probably, what if I am unable to learn the new song that my music teacher teaches me, sigh. Now, almost everything in my life is a cause for worry.

It seems as if time has just passed by, and I am still playing catch up. The other day I was talking to my friends when suddenly one of them says, 'Kids these days....'. WAIT. STOP. WHAT ARE WE? Grown ups? As Meredith Grey very famously says "When did that happen?". Yes, when did that actually happen? Where was I when it happened?

I am a grown girl, I was told by my lawyer, that its high time I sat with him and learnt about the family affairs. WAIT, WHAAT? I am still in college, and what AFFAIRS does my FAMILY have? Its like everything around me has calmly accepted my progression into GROWN UP-hood, except me. To everyone around me, I am a grown up, to me, I just  got old. Maybe its like what Inayat said, Growing up and growing old are two completely different things. I felt like I was catapulted into a completely new and unfamiliar world filled with a strange new feeling called Responsibility, and another one that follows slowly, Accountability.

It's a little unfair, people who readily helped you just a few months ago, will now expect you to be able to do everything and anything without the tiniest of help. Instead of worrying about what movie is on TV, you think about how much money there is in your account, and other connected things. It's like what one of those forwards say, when you are young you wish you'd grow up, but when you actually do, you miss the time spent munching  chocolates. Vicious cycle, I guess.

Things change so much from the time you are kid to the time your grown up, you generally tend to feel a bit let down. Like for instance, growing up, I always wanted to be able to pay with cards, now that I actually do, it really isn't such a big deal. I expected to have an adrenaline rush, the first time I signed on a card slip, nope it's like signing anywhere else.

Since I did reach the place I reached, I guess it's time for me to make peace with the strange new world around me. But then again, "We grew up? WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?"

Lessons learnt in a Luckless Delhi Day

In life there are some good days, some very good days, and then there are bad days, and obviously there are very bad days. Yesterday was one of the worst that I have seen. Yes, it was those days you see in movies where everything turns out wrong. Though in the movies it always ends with everyone smiling, yesterday was just a bad day.

I reached office at 1045, a good 15 minutes late, only to realise that my pretty red wallet was missing from my bag. It took me a minute to digest the fact that my wallet was indeed stolen. So there I learnt my first lesson of the day: NEVER TRAVEL IN A JAM PACKED METRO.

Then I called up home to get my card blocked, and my Grand dad told me that some cash had been already withdrawn from the card. Sigh. Call it a twist of fate, or whatever you'd like to call it, I had given my other ATM card to Thara. Phew! Now I have some money in Delhi.

Second Lesson of the Day: NEVER EVER CARRY ALL YOUR CARDS WITH YOU.

My friends at work had various theories as to how the money could have been withdrawn, ranging from Romilla's 200 rupee machine which can find out ATM Card Pins, to Thara asking who else knew the Pin and finding out he was the only one. Look at the irony of that.A few minutes after that Tribikram makes his point again : ALL METROS ARE BAD. Trust me, he has his share of Delhi Metros. Actually for more on that you should talk to Bharatendu.

Third Lesson of the Day : NEVER BE ALONE AFTER LOSING YOUR WALLET, BE AROUND FRIENDS LIKE MINE, WHO WILL GIVE YOU AMAZING AND MINDBLOWING INSIGHTS INTO HOW THE CRIME WOULD HAVE BEEN COMMITTED .

Later in the day, Thara and I decide to watch Puss-In-Boots, and Bharatendu as usual ditched us. We google the timings and the places, and find out that it's playing in Big Cinemas in CP. We while away an hour in the Mall next to our Office after work, and finally reach CP. After walking all the way to D Block what do we see? We see that the only two movies playing in Big Cinemas are Desi Boys and Dirty Picture. Just my Luck, ain't it?

Fourth Lesson of the Day: ALWAYS CALL UP THE THEATRE TO FIND OUT IF THE MOVIE YOU WANT IS SHOWING. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO CALL UP, DOUBLE CHECK ON ANOTHER WEBSITE.

So heads hung in dissapointment, shoulders down we made our way to the Metro Station and finally reached Patel Chowk. We got off, and Thara bought socks! Yes, socks at an amazingly cheap price.

Amazing Discovery of the Day : YOU NEED NOT ALWAYS SPEND A FORTUNE FOR GOOD SOCKS!

So, he went his way and I went mine. I was walking the same route I take everyday. I almost reached YWCA, when I realised some guy was walking behind me. I quickened my pace, and two minutes later, he started mouthing obscenities. I walked even faster and so did he, and I could make out he was drunk. He was reeking of Whiskey. My heart started pounding in a way it never did. All that I had read about Delhi not being safe for women started running through my head. I started looking for autos and there were none to be found. There were hardly any people on the road as well. The guy was still following me, and he kept asking me to wait and talk to him.

Then, I reached the Bus Stop, and this lady from my Hostel was there. It just took her a minute to realise what was happening and she started yelling at that man.PHEW! These two random men at the BusStop started beating up that man, and I was horrified, I mean I did not want him beaten up also. I walked back to the hostel with that Lady, my saviour.

My last lesson of the day : I really don't know. What happened to me there, could have happened to anyone anywhere. I should just be a little careful, and if he did anything start screaming as Bharatendu was telling me today. Maybe I should buy that Pepper Spray, that Aditi advocates. It's just the feeling of absolute helpnessness of that moment, of those terrible two minutes, that seemed to last an eternity that shook me.

So does yesterday make me hate Delhi?

I dont think so. Yesterday could have happened to me anywhere. I dont claim to love Delhi, but Delhi does help me learn a lot about myself, and a lot about the world. Delhi brings out another side of me. It yesterday was soo bad, today was really nice. I could sit in Max Mueller Bhawan Canteen and talk about yesterday, only shows how beautiful Delhi is. It can help you wipe away all your yesterday's tears. For the foodies out there check out Cafe Goethe in the Max Mueller Bhavan on Kasturba Gandhi Road, great Chicken Dum Biryani. I really liked it, and the best part a meal for two will cost about 150 bucks!

I still love the Metro. I am still game to going all the way to drop Saumya off in Gurgaon just for fun. I love the fact that while walking to the Metro Station in the mornings I get to hear lotsa things from how to run for President to how to cook Achari Ghosh. I love the fact that  I walk past buildings where important decisions are taken everyday.

Would I be ok with living in Delhi? I am not so sure. That will take me sometime. I dont think I can ever get myself to say, " I am from Hyderabad, but I work in Delhi."

So, in hindsight what was the most precious thing I lost yesterday, I lost the opportunity to look at my favorite photo of my mum on her Birthday. So here's a little request to the girl who stole my wallet :

If you do have my wallet, please return the pictures that are there in it. They mean a lot to me.

You can use my other Metro Card, it has some 70 bucks in it.

(This post is dedicated my Mom. Happy Birthday Mummy, wherever you are. I miss you.)